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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29768964">The Way You Move Me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/angellwings/pseuds/angellwings'>angellwings</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Chicago Fire</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Confessions, F/M, Falling In Love, Friendship/Love, Idiots in Love, One Shot, Romance, Speculation</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 00:49:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,330</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29768964</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/angellwings/pseuds/angellwings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>One second he’s crossing from the truck to the accident scene and the next he’s crushed like a bug on the front end of a car. It happens far too quickly for him to see it coming.</p><p>He rebounds off the car and into a building, <em>hard</em>. Everything fades and when he opens his eyes again, <em>she’s there</em>.</p><p>Sylvie.</p><p>“Matt! Matt, look at me!” She says urgently.</p><p>He drags his hazy gaze to hers. Everything around her seems to glow or have a fuzzy blur to it, but Sylvie is in full focus. She is sharply defined in his mind. The lines of concern on her face, the wet sheen to her eyes, the fear and concentration in her expression.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sylvie Brett/Matthew Casey</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>204</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Way You Move Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p><strong>A/N: </strong>Hey guys! So I had an idea for a new one shot based on filming photos for 9x09. I doubt it will happen this way on the actual show but I had a ton of fun finding a way for Brett and Casey to have this conversation based on my speculation for 9x08 &amp; 9x09.</p><p>I hope you guys enjoy it! </p><p>Happy reading!</p><p>xoxo</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>******</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Over you,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I'm never over,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Over you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It's something about you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It's just the way you move,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The way you move me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Yeah, I'm so good at forgetting,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And I quit every game I play,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But forgive me, love,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I can't turn and walk away this way.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>-“Back to You” by John Mayer</em>
</p><p>******</p><p>One second he’s crossing from the truck to the accident scene and the next he’s crushed like a bug on the front end of a car. It happens far too quickly for him to see it coming.</p><p>He rebounds off the car and into a building, <em>hard</em>. Everything fades and when he opens his eyes again, <em>she’s there</em>.</p><p>Sylvie.</p><p>“Matt! Matt, look at me!” She says urgently.</p><p>He drags his hazy gaze to hers. Everything around her seems to glow or have a fuzzy blur to it, but Sylvie is in full focus. She is sharply defined in his mind. The lines of concern on her face, the wet sheen to her eyes, the fear and concentration in her expression.</p><p>She waves a pen light in front of his face. The brightness hurts. He can’t stop his wince. Her gloved hands feel all along his head. He knows she’s checking him for contusions but it’s the closest they’ve been since the night they kissed and he decides to take it all in — even if he’s internally screaming through his pain. She smells so wonderful, like a tropical paradise, and her hair is the color of pale sunshine as it falls from behind her ears and tickles his face.</p><p>“Do you know where you are?” She asks, interrupting his reverie.</p><p>“Accident scene,” he mumbles.</p><p>“Good. Do you remember what happened?”</p><p>“Asshole hit me with his car.”</p><p>She chuckles at his answer and the sound nearly numbs the pain. It’s beautiful. He hasn’t heard it in far too long.</p><p>“And that asshole is in the back of a squad car so safe to say he won’t be hitting anyone else,” Kidd informs him — which is why he registers her presence for the first time since he came-to.</p><p>He’s glad he was hit instead of either of them.</p><p>“Can you bring me the gurney, a backboard, and a c-collar?” Sylvie asks Kidd as she continues to inspect Matt for injuries. Stella nods and sprints away. “Does anything hurt?”</p><p>“I don’t need a backboard,” Casey protests.</p><p>He doesn’t. He can probably walk. He tests his legs, stretching them, and bites back a groan when his abdomen radiates sharp pains.</p><p>Sylvie huffs and her lips purse sternly. “If you say you’re fine—“</p><p>“I <em>am</em> fine.”</p><p>“You were hit by a car,” Sylvie reminds him firmly. Worry is evident in the way her brow pinches. He aches to smooth it out with his fingers. “I don’t know what was hit or how you fell so, <em>yes,</em> we’re doing this by the book. C-collar, backboard, gurney — the works.”</p><p>No. No to all of that. He hates hospitals. He hates gurneys. <em>No. </em>He’s fine! He’ll prove it to her. </p><p>He starts to sit up but she keeps a firm press on his shoulders. </p><p>“I’ll walk it off,” he argues. </p><p>He dares to meet her determined eyes. One look and he knows this is a battle he’s going to lose.</p><p>“You will do no such thing!” Sylvie yells, sounding frantic. The worry lines on her face deepen. He’ll relent if only to cause her less stress. “If I let you walk away from this and then it turns out you have some sort of serious internal injury I will never forgive myself. You’re staying as still as you can until a doctor can look at you and that’s that.”</p><p>A wave of drowsiness hits him and he tries to sit up in an effort to stay awake but it backfires. Moving not only hurts but it gives him an unsettling feeling of floating. It twists his stomach. The pain and nausea and the drowsiness are too much. It’s weighing him down.</p><p>Maybe if he could just rest...</p><p>“Matt! Don’t you dare pass out on me now. Come on wake up,” Sylvie pleads.</p><p>His eyes slowly open and he smiles weakly at her. Thankful for her concern. “S’okay, just tired.”</p><p>“I’m sure you are but I need you to fight that for me, okay? Let’s get you to a doctor first.”</p><p>She seems calm but he can hear the desperation in her voice, even if she doesn’t want him to.</p><p>The next several minutes are a strange blur. He feels himself being gently slid onto a backboard by many hands and he registers Sylvie leaning toward him with a c-collar in hand but then the movement from the pavement to the backboard suddenly registers and he gets that stomach twisting floating sensation again.</p><p>Bile rises up and out of him before he can stop it and lands on the pavement. Jesus, he feels like shit. Turning his head to spit up jostled his abdomen and now his entire chest burns and aches. He’s so absorbed by it that he doesn’t pay a bit of attention to the world around him.</p><p>It’s so great that he contemplates sleep just to avoid feeling it. His eyes start to drift closed as he’s loaded into 61. A loud voice, Stella’s, pulls him out of it.</p><p>“You’ve been through way worse than this. Right, Captain?”</p><p>He weakly raises an arm and gives her a thumbs up. “Right.”</p><p>He doesn’t want to give anyone more cause to worry so he hopes they buy his response. It’s true he has been through worse, but last time he was unconscious for the pain. This time he’s awake to feel all of it.</p><p>The doors close and the rig takes off to Med with Sylvie sitting in the back with him. She reaches out a hand and runs her fingers through his hair, smoothing down his helmet hair while unknowingly offering him comfort. </p><p>“Matt, seriously, it’s obvious your head is hurting but is there anything else?” She asks.</p><p>She hasn’t called him Casey once since he regained consciousness. He’s glad for it. Being in physical pain while being reminded of the emotional distance between them would have made all this ten times worse. It would remind him that he’s lost her. Hearing his first name on her lips is like a pretty lie. He can pretend they’re still <em>them</em> for a while, even when he knows they aren’t.</p><p>“I like when you call me Matt,” he admits softly. “I’ve missed it.”</p><p>She sighs and a strange mix and softness and sadness lingers on her face as she speaks. “I want to give you something for the pain but not before you tell me if anything else is an issue. Tell me if you feel anything and how sharp it is.”</p><p>She unbuttons his turn out coat and begins poking and prodding and squeezing. Not a thing bothers him until she reaches his left side. The area that had been pulling and pinching and radiating horrible pain anytime he moved. He hisses and fists his hands at his sides.</p><p>“There,” he grits out through his teeth.</p><p>“Rate the pain, Matt. On a scale of one to ten.”</p><p>“A six,” he confesses in a groan. “But that’s nothing compared to my head.”</p><p>The pain in his head is an eight edging it’s way to a nine. But thankfully she doesn’t make him rate that outloud.</p><p>Seeming satisfied with his answer, she gives him something for the pain. He hears her calling out the amount and the drug into the cab of the ambo, to whatever random floater she’s been assigned today. She gives it a moment to pass through the IV she put in his arm at some point (he doesn’t remember when) before reaching over and squeezing his hand — warm smile on her face and compassionate tears in her eyes.</p><p>“Better?”</p><p>He smiles wanly as the pain slowly begins to dissipate and nods. “Better.”</p><p>Honestly, as long as she kept the painkillers coming, he could sit in this ambo holding her hand for the rest of the day. Why does it take him getting hit by a car to bring them back together if only for a moment?</p><p>The ambo arrives at Med and he listens as Sylvie rattles off his stats. She hands him off to Ethan, looking more hesitant to leave him than he’s ever seen her. He wishes she wouldn’t go but he knows she doesn’t have a choice.</p><p>The curtain to the trauma bay closes and then Ethan is prodding him again — less gently than Sylvie. He cries out when Choi gets to his ribs and responds to all his questions as they x-ray his chest. The quicker he answers them then the quicker they’ll let Sylvie come back in and that’s all he wants right now.</p><p>Sylvie is all he ever wants.</p><p>They wheel him around for different tests for who knows how long. He feels like he’s had every test they can possibly give him. But they give him the <em>good</em> painkillers so maybe it’s an even trade off.</p><p>He’s not sure how long it’s been, but they’re done with tests and Ethan’s told him he has two broken ribs and a concussion. Matt wants to know why it took so long to come to that conclusion cause he could have told them that as soon as Sylvie pushed him through the doors to the ED. It’s not exactly his first experience with broken ribs or a concussion.</p><p>He leans his head back and closes his eyes. Ethan said he was going to go update Sylvie as she’s still waiting downstairs. All in all, not a bad end to a horrible accident.</p><p>He’s on the good meds and Sylvie will be here soon. Both wins in his opinion.</p><p>“Hit by a car, Matt, really?”</p><p>He opens his eyes and finds a pissed off blonde staring at him, but not the blonde he expected.</p><p>“You’re not Sylvie,” he says, blinking slowly at his older sister.</p><p>She walks toward his bed, dropping her large tote bag in the only armchair in the room. </p><p>“No,” Christie replies with a small smirk. “I am not. Your Chief came by to get an update from your doctor and picked her up so you could get some rest.”</p><p>He scowls and clicks his tongue in irritation. “I don’t like that. I don’t want to rest. I want Sylvie.”</p><p>He shakes himself as those words leave his lips. Did he just say that out loud? To his <em>sister</em>? Well, <em>shit</em>.</p><p>“<em>Well, shit</em>, is right,” Christie says with a soft chuckle. He must have cursed out loud too. Dammit.  “How drugged up, are you?”</p><p>“I don’t know but my brain to mouth filter is gone so I’m thinking I’m pretty damn high,” he answers with a short laugh. </p><p>In that case, maybe it’s good Sylvie’s not here. Who knows what he’d say to her when he has no control over his mouth.</p><p>“So,” Christie starts as she lifts a curious brow at him. “How are you feeling?”</p><p>He shrugs and then scratches the back of his neck. “My head hurts and my side hurts but pretty good for a guy who was hit by a car. At least I’m not dead.”</p><p>“Don’t joke about that,” Christie scolds.</p><p>“I’m not joking. I’m truly glad I’m not dead.”</p><p>“Me too,” Christie says as she releases a shaky breath. “I never want to get a phone call like that again, Matt. You hear me?”</p><p>“I hear you,” he replies somberly. His lips twist into a crooked grin before he continues. “I’ll just have them call someone else next time.”</p><p>“You know, all these years I’ve forgotten how <em>annoying</em> you were when we kids,” Christie tells him, biting her lip to keep from laughing. “And suddenly I remember.”</p><p>“Imagine that,” Matt says, chuckling softly.</p><p>“But that’s okay, go ahead and annoy me now. It’ll come back to haunt you once you’re discharged.”</p><p>Her words are ominous and he gets the feeling he’s not going to like what comes next. “What does that mean?”</p><p>“That means you’re staying with me for the next week. You’re going to need someone to keep an eye on you for at least that long. I’m not leaving you with Severide just to find out later you took on a new construction job to fill the time. You’re going to rest and I’m going to make sure of it.”</p><p>He groans dramatically. “You’re gonna babysit me? I used to hate it when mom and dad let you babysit. You never let me do anything fun. The other babysitters did but not you. It was the <em>worst</em>.”</p><p>“Exactly. So, go ahead and annoy me now, little brother, but I’m going to get the last laugh,” Christie declares with a triumphant grin.</p><p>“This is because you don’t have Violet at home to fuss over anymore, isn’t it?” He asks with narrowed eyes.</p><p>“You could avoid me fussing over you, if you’d simply find a girlfriend,” his sister teases as she sets her tote on the floor and sits in the uncomfortable looking arm chair. “Although, maybe you already have one?” She tilts her head at him with a questioning glance. “Maybe that cute paramedic I met downstairs who you keep asking for?”</p><p>He scoffs and then sighs tiredly. “I wish. No, I fucked that up. She doesn’t want me anymore.”</p><p>Christie looks thrown by that answer and lets out a soft suspicious hum. “That’s not the impression I got from her. She seemed pretty upset over this whole thing. Not that she wanted me to know that, but I could tell. If you ask me, she cares about you pretty deeply. She even gave me her number in case either of us needed anything when she got off shift.”</p><p>An affectionate smile tugs at the corners of his mouth and, for the first time in weeks, he feels hopeful. “She did?”</p><p>Christie nods and then smirks at him. “Want me to come up with something you need and have her meet us here in the morning? I’m sure I can think of something that won’t seem too obvious.”</p><p>“No! No, she’ll just have gotten off shift and she’s had a floater so she’s been picking up a lot of his slack. She’ll need her rest. Don’t call her over nothing,” Matt answers urgently. “I’m not gonna be that guy.”</p><p>“What guy?” Christie asks in confusion.</p><p>“The guy that takes up all her time and keeps jerking her around even when she wants to move on,” Matt says, meeting his sister’s eyes with a meaningful glance. “You know exactly what I’m talking about.”</p><p>She stares at him for a long silent moment and then it seems to occur to her all at once. She shakes her head at him. “If you weren’t concussed I would smack you upside the head. <em>You</em> are not <em>dad</em>, Matt. First of all, you would never take up all of someone’s time. You give all your time away to others. How do you have any left to take for yourself? Second, the day you knowingly jerk someone around is the day Jim becomes capable of monogamy and honesty.” She pauses as she ticks the reasons off on her fingers, giving him a very parental glare as she continues. “And third, I feel like you’re probably missing a piece of the puzzle when it comes to Sylvie. I don’t think you have all the information.”</p><p>“I have the information,” he disagrees. “There’s just nothing I can do about it.”</p><p>“Why don’t I believe that?” Christies asks. She settles back in the chair and crosses her arms over her chest. “While you’re drugged and your filter is broken I need you to tell me everything.”</p><p>“Everything?” Matt asks.</p><p>She nods. “Everything. No detail is too small.”</p><p>“I don’t know…”</p><p>Christie’s hand finds his and squeezes, eager eyes meeting his. “Come on, Matt. If there’s a way to fix it, we’ll find it. Let <em>me</em> help you for once.”</p><p>It’s no use saying no. She’ll bug him for the next week if he doesn’t, maybe longer. “Fine,” he replies. “But this story is long and complicated. You’re gonna be hearing it for a while.”</p><p>She shrugs and smiles kindly at him. “I’m not planning on going anywhere. We’ve got all night if we need it.”</p><p>******</p><p>It’s been almost 48 hours since she last saw Matt. Christie texted her after Matt had been discharged to let her know everything was fine and that he was going to stay with her for a few days. Sylvie told her she thought that was a great idea. Matt needs someone around to make him take it easy. He won’t do that on his own.</p><p>Opinions about Matt soon become questions about each other and, by the time Christie invites Sylvie over for lunch two days later, she genuinely thinks she’s made a new friend. The only problem is this new friend’s close proximity to Matt.</p><p>Thanks to Greg, she already knows moving on from him is going to take much longer than she’d like but if she keeps intertwining her life with his then it may very well end up being impossible.</p><p>But Sylvie’s never been one to refuse a new friend so she agrees. Besides, she’d like to see how Matt’s doing for herself. She’s been worried sick about him despite knowing he’ll make a full recovery. (Despite knowing she shouldn't be thinking about him at all.)</p><p>She parks in the driveway and slowly walks up the pretty stone path. Christie has flowers everywhere. Around the walk, in little flower boxes on the windows, in planters on her stoop — Sylvie’s never been able to keep flowers alive. Herbs and vegetables? Sure. She grew up on a farm so those sort of plants are easy, but flowers? No. Definitely not her thing.</p><p>She rings the bell and waits. Barely a minute later, Christie opens the door with a big smile and a wave of her hand.</p><p>“You made it! Come on in,” she says, motioning Sylvie inside.</p><p>She likes this house. It’s very cozy and very minimal. Sylvie tries to be a minimalist but ends up buying little decor pieces everytime she goes to Homegoods so her shelves are a little too full for the minimal style. Christie has it down to an art, though. And she’s managed it without the house coming across as cold. That’s a difficult thing to do.</p><p>“Your home is beautiful,” Sylvie says as they make their way toward the living room.</p><p>“Thank you,” she replies. “I’ve been slowly remodeling it since my divorce. It’s coming together. I just have one room left to purge. Do you know anyone who might want to buy a bunch of barely used exercise machines?”</p><p>Sylvie brightens, realizing she may actually be able to help. “You know what, I might! I have a friend who owns her own gym. I’ll leave you her number. At the very the least, if she doesn’t need any of it she might know someone who does.”</p><p>“Oh wow! That would be a life saver! I haven’t touched the home gym, except to vacuum and dust, since my ex left me. Getting rid of it is long overdue,” Christie confesses before looking away from Sylvie with a thoughtful expression. “It’s funny how you can be completely over someone and yet still carry around pieces of them, you know?”</p><p>She thinks of her exes and the way things about them have influenced how she lives now. She thinks of Matt and how frozen in time he’s been since Gabby left. She thinks of herself trying to move on with Grainger. The highlight reel of the past playing through her mind causes her to sigh heavily. </p><p>“Yeah, I know.”</p><p>“Matt and I grew up giving in to what our parents wanted a lot. Anything to keep them happy and stop the fighting. Losing our parents so young, I think also caused us to cling to the people we loved a little too long, even when it was clear it wasn’t going to work out and <em>they</em> didn’t love <em>us</em> the way we deserved,” Christie says softly, looking reflective. “Honestly, I didn’t realize how much that trauma shaped us until recently. It’s hard for the two of us to push through what other people want and fight for ourselves. Matt’s had to fight people for me several times since we reconnected. He knows I won’t so he takes up the cause on my behalf. He’s a wonderful brother and I regret that it took me so long to see it.”</p><p>Sylvie keeps quiet for a lingering moment afterward. Not quite sure what to say in response. She never expected them to get so deep so quickly. Matt rarely tells her anything he’s thinking or feeling. She’s always the one word vomiting all over <em>him</em>. So, having a <em>Casey </em>be so willingly open is surprising.</p><p>“Oh gosh!” Christie exclaims. “That got a little dark, didn’t it? Matt and I have been doing a lot of talking since he started staying with me and I guess that just spilled over onto you! I’m so sorry!”</p><p>“No! Please don’t apologize,” Sylvie assures her quickly. “It’s actually very refreshing to be around someone truly willing to talk about how they feel and why they feel it. And believe me I have similar childhood issues that have influenced me in all the same ways. I’ve spent my whole life feeling like I had to be perfect and useful or else no one would bother to keep me around. Not because my parents treated me that way or anything because they loved me dearly. Simply because I’m adopted and as a kid I internalized that to mean I somehow wasn’t <em>good</em> <em>enough </em>for my birth parents. So, it’s not the exact same, but I understand having to fight through an insecurity like that. I do it every day. I have a tendency to twist myself into all kinds of knots just to make sure the people I love are happy.”</p><p>There’s another moment of silence before Sylvie chuckles nervously and shrugs, fiddling with her watch band as she speaks. “So, see? Now we’ve both gotten deep and dark. I’d say we’re even.”</p><p>Christie’s expression had been one of shrewd observation while Sylvie spoke, as if she were memorizing every word, but at Sylvie’s joke she smiles warmly and reaches over to rub Sylvie’s upper arm. The gesture is soothing and immediately allows Sylvie to relax again.</p><p>“Definitely even. Thank you for sharing,” Christie replies with an earnest smile. “So, I thought we’d order in for lunch. There’s a great place nearby with a menu entirely made up of comfort food and, thankfully for me, they have a completely separate menu of Vegan options.”</p><p>“Oh, god yes, comfort food sounds amazing right about now,” Sylvie agrees.</p><p>Just as Christie pulls out her phone to order there’s a loud crash from somewhere deeper in the house. Christie looks up, eyes blazing, and marches toward the crash. Sylvie trails behind her with a furrowed brow.</p><p>“Matt Casey, if you’re working on that room again I swear—“</p><p>“Relax, Christie,” Matt calls back, his voice drifting toward them from another room.</p><p>They turn a corner and walk through an open door into the home gym that Christie had mentioned. Casey stood against the wall with a tape measure in one hand and a box of various health foods spilled at his feet.</p><p>He continues to explain with his back to them, turning as he talks. “I wasn’t doing anything except taking measurements. Why the hell haven’t you thrown these protein bars—“</p><p>He stops short when his eyes find Sylvie. He looks befuddled by her presence. She almost thinks he’s worried he imagined her.</p><p>“Sylvie?”</p><p>She gives him a small wave and an awkward smile. “Casey.”</p><p>Her last name from his lips causes his expression to droop and sadness to flash across his eyes. He clears his throat and places the tape measure on a nearby shelf. “Christie didn’t tell me you were coming over.”</p><p>“Yes, I did,” Christie says defensively. “I distinctly remember telling you I was having a friend over for lunch. Now get your annoying stubborn butt back on the couch. You’re supposed to be <em>resting</em> or have you forgotten about that?”</p><p>“I’m fine,” he replies with an eye roll. “And when you said <em>friend</em> I didn’t know that meant Sylvie.”</p><p>“Doesn’t matter now,” Christie replies, brushing off his frustration and handing him the menu in her hand. “You two decide what you want and text me. I have to run by the store. I don’t have anything for us to drink and I’m not laying five dollars for a can of sparkling water. I’ll just pick up the food on my way back.”</p><p>Before either Sylvie or Matt can protest, Christie’s gone — briskly marching to the garage.</p><p>“Be back later!” She yells.</p><p>Sylvie takes in the situation. The lunch invitation. The fact that she hadn’t told Matt they were talking. The sudden exit.</p><p>“Did your sister just—“</p><p>“Set us up? Yes, yes she did,” Matt answers with a dry laugh.</p><p>“Right,” Sylvie replies with a thick swallow. “Why would she do that? Did you tell her about...that night?”</p><p>He nods. “I did. I told her all about how I screwed it all up.”</p><p>“I told you. It wasn’t your fault,” she says, brow pinching as her eyes water. “I got carried away and I took you along with me. A part of me knew you weren’t ready and I let myself believe that you—“ She stops before the tears in her throat clog her words and shakes her head. “It doesn’t matter. What’s important is that you know this is all <em>my </em>fault. <em>You</em> didn’t screw anything up. You can’t help who you love and it’s very clear that you and Gabby have an intense connection and I’ve confused you. Simple as that.”</p><p>“Simple as—Sylvie, nothing about this has been simple and yes I’ll admit to being confused, but I’m sure as hell not confused about <em>Gabby</em>. I understand that she’s an issue for you but she isn’t for me. Gabby has never once factored into what I feel for you,” Matt declares, taking several steps closer.</p><p>“Well, of course she hasn’t,” Sylvie replies with a derisive snort. “She’s not <em>here</em> at the moment. That’s the problem.”</p><p>His eyes narrow and his head tilts. Frustration fills his expression along with a small amount of anger. There’s sadness lingering too. She recognizes that face. The last time she saw it Gabby had only been gone (for good) for a few days.</p><p>“She’s not here,” Matt begins with barely restrained irritation. “Because she <em>left</em>. Permanently. She left you. She left me. She left all of Chicago. She <em>chose</em> to leave so she doesn’t get to factor into my decisions or feelings anymore. I don’t want her to. I don’t want <em>her</em> at all.”</p><p>“Until she comes back again,” Sylvie mutters. “For her next gala or fundraiser. When she’s <em>here</em>, everything will be different.”</p><p>“No it won’t. Not for me. Not anymore.”</p><p>“You weren’t so sure of that a few weeks ago,” Sylvie points out before biting her lip to ward off tears.</p><p>“What are you <em>really </em>afraid of, Sylvie?” Matt asks softly. His eyes meet hers in a beseeching stare. It’s the first time she’s dared to look him in the eye since this conversation began. “I know I gave you a lackluster answer and I’m truly sorry, but you shut down after that. You put up a wall and locked me out. Nothing I’ve said or could say will ever change that unless you tell me what I’m up against.”</p><p>His eyes are watering causing him to blink rapidly. For the life of her she can’t look away from him. She furiously swipes at her cheeks when she realizes a few of her own tears have escaped. </p><p>Matt breathes in deeply and takes one final step into her personal space. His fingers slowly intertwine with hers, squeezing gently. “Why are you so terrified of <em>us</em>?”</p><p>She allows herself a moment to enjoy the warmth of his touch but then tugs her hand away. She holds her voice steady and strong as she explains. She’s doing the right thing. For him and For her. Matt deserves a chance to figure out what he wants for himself without any influence from her or anyone else.</p><p>“Because I’m not a consolation prize and I also refuse to be the person who holds you back from what you really want. That would be unfair to both of us. I want <em>you</em> to do what makes you happy, Casey. If Gabby is who you want then go get her. Don’t settle for me just because I’m here and she’s not.”</p><p>At those words Matt rebounds a few steps. If she didn’t know any better she’d think she’d slapped him. </p><p>“Settle for--That’s what you think I’m doing? You think I only want you because I can’t have her?”</p><p>Yes, that is what she said. Does he have to repeat it? It hurts even worse hearing those words come from his lips.</p><p>“Jesus, Sylvie. I had a lot of reasons in mind for why Gabby was an issue but I never thought it would end up being <em>that</em>,” Matt says he leans against a stationary bike.</p><p>She keeps her gaze focused on the floor. Tears fall down her cheeks against her will. “How could you have thought anything else? Why do you think I asked if you’d leave with her? Or told you, you couldn’t just ignore your feelings for her? What did you think ‘there is no regardless of Gabby’ meant?”</p><p>“I thought--I thought just the fact that I ever had a relationship with her was the issue. That you wanted me to forget I knew her, and I can’t do that. I don’t want to do that. My time with Gabby, just like my time with Hallie, shaped part of who I am. If I forget her then I’m doomed to repeat all the same mistakes over again. I learned a lot about what I want and what I don’t want from Gabby. All of those lessons will help me make sure I get it right next time.”</p><p>He sounds honest and earnest. His tone is unbelievably warm. Everything about him right now is a contrast to how cold and hopeless she feels. He pushes off the bike and returns to her side. He doesn’t reach for her this time, but he does tilt his head toward hers.</p><p>“I’d like that next time to be with you,” he confesses. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you for months now at least. Probably longer than that if I really sat down and searched my memories. I’ve tried being with someone else and it didn’t help. In fact, it only made me miss you more. And then seeing you with Grainger last week...God, that nearly killed me. Honestly, I think that hurt worse than being hit by that SUV last shift. Watching him walk into 51 and seeing the way you smiled at him--I had a flash of my life without you in it and I hated it.”</p><p>“I would never want you to forget Gabby,” Sylvie informs him. </p><p>He’s given her a lot of information in a short amount of time and, after spending weeks thinking he could never want her the way she wants him, she can only process so much of it at once. She responds to the part that she can understand most easily. His past with Gabby. </p><p>“She was a big part of both of our lives for a long time and if anyone understands learning about yourself through a past relationship, it’s me. I just don’t want you to choose me and then change your mind.”</p><p>His fingers gently grip her chin and lift her face toward his, forcing her to look at him. “I’m not gonna change my mind.”</p><p>Her teeth sink into her bottom lip and she fights the way his words cause a flutter in her stomach. He can’t know that for sure.</p><p>“And I don’t want you to want me because you think you might lose me or...that you can’t have someone else instead. I—I want you to want me <em>for me</em>, Matt.”</p><p>His somber expression stretches into a wide affectionate grin and it baffles her. She didn’t think she’d said anything that encouraging yet.</p><p>“What?” She asks. “Why are you looking at me like that?”</p><p>“You called me Matt. I’m taking that as a breakthrough.”</p><p>She fights a soft smile and shakes her head at him. “Matt—“</p><p>“See, there it is again. <em>Matt</em>. It sounds so much better than <em>Casey</em>. Don’t you think?”</p><p>Despite her logical need to fight her hopefulness she chuckles at him and rolls her eyes in fond frustration. “Are you even listening to me?”</p><p>He nods and skims a feathering touch across her cheek. “I always listen to you.” </p><p>He pulls his hand away and lets it fall down at his side. She tries not to, but she misses the feeling of his calluses against her skin.</p><p>His grin softens into a crooked smirk, reminding her of that night at Molly’s weeks ago. “Look, I know you don’t believe me right now and I can’t blame you for that. I haven’t done a particularly good job of expressing myself lately. But I can learn to be better at that and I can show you that you are the <em>only person</em> I want.” His fingers encase hers again with his thumb brushing over her knuckles. “Not because I can’t be with someone else or because I want what I think I can’t have but because of <em>you</em> and the person I know you to be. I don’t blame you for being afraid. I am too. But I can’t walk away from this. I’ve tried and I’ve failed. I’m not asking for you to give me an answer right now, Sylvie. All I’m asking for is a chance to prove myself to you — a chance to <em>fight</em> for what we could be. Can you give me that, please?”</p><p>It’s like he’s speaking directly to her heart because the answer is in the air between them before has a chance to stop it.</p><p>“Yes,” she agrees, blowing out a shaky breath. </p><p>She’s nervous as hell but, with everything he just said and the way she knows she can’t move on from him, how can she say no? If he’s been struggling as much as she has then they owe it to themselves to at least try.</p><p>“Yes?” He asks as a hesitant smile breaks across his face.</p><p>She nods and reflects his smile back at him. “Yes. I can’t walk away from you either. I never could. So...<em>show me</em>. Show me what we could be.”</p><p>“Happy to,” he replies a moment before he dips his head and presses his lips to hers.</p><p>The kiss is tender but intrusive. His hands find hers and thread their fingers together as he tugs her closer. The change in distance between them alters the angle of the kiss. His tongue teases her bottom lip and she instinctively parts her lips in response. His tongue sweeps in. She nearly groans at the taste of him. It feels like so long ago since she last kissed him yet she knows it wasn’t.</p><p>They break apart for air, smiles still pressed together while they catch their breath.</p><p>“Been wanting to do that again for weeks now,” Matt tells her.</p><p>She laughs lightly and bumps her nose against his. “I could tell. Was it worth the wait?”</p><p>“Always,” Matt replies instantly. “You are always gonna be worth the wait. Speaking of a wait.” He releases her hands to rub his hands up and down her arms. “I’ll be back at Severide’s to finish recovering in about four days and I was thinking that once I’m back there I could...make you dinner? We could talk more. About us or what we’ve been worried about the last few weeks. Whatever you want.”</p><p>“Yes, to all of it,” she answers quickly. “I wanna talk about <em>everything</em>, please.”</p><p>He nods decisively, the way he does when he makes a decision at an accident scene. “Okay, then it’s a date.”</p><p>She feels her cheeks flush as her smile brightens. “I like the sound of that.”</p><p>“Me too.” He leans in to kiss her again but stops short when his phone chimes in his pocket. He huffs and pulls it out to check. He chuckles and rolls his eyes as he reads a text. “Christie would like us to stop making out long enough to give her our orders.”</p><p>Sylvie’s eyes grow wide in embarrassment. “It does not say that!”</p><p>“I promise you it does,” Matt replies with a soft laugh, turning the screen so she can read the message too.</p><p>“Your sister is shameless and devious,” Sylvie states with a mirthful grin.</p><p>“I know! This is what I’ve been trying to tell people my whole life! No one ever believes me!” Matt exclaims with playful annoyance.</p><p>“Well, you have me as a witness now,” Sylvie replies with a smirk. Slipping her hands into his, she tugs him toward the door. “Come on, let’s get you back to the couch and off your feet while we decide what to eat. You’re supposed to be resting.”</p><p>“I think kissing you is <em>very </em>restful,” he tells her with a disarming smile.</p><p>She brings a hand up to the side of his face and caresses his cheek with her thumb, amusement shining in her eyes. “Nice try, Matt, but no. Save the rest of your charm for our date.”</p>
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